Word 1: Weak

Weak. Ask Google to define it and you are met with a litany of ineptitude:

• wanting in physical strength; "a weak pillar"
• watery: overly diluted; thin and insipid; "washy coffee"; "watery milk"; "weak tea"
• unaccented: (used of vowels or syllables) pronounced with little or no stress; "a syllable that ends in a short vowel is a light syllable"; "a weak stress on the second syllable"
• fallible: wanting in moral strength, courage, or will; having the attributes of man as opposed to e.g. divine beings; "I'm only a fallible human"; "frail humanity"
• tending downward in price; "a weak market for oil stocks"
• deficient or lacking in some skill; "he's weak in spelling"
• decrepit: lacking bodily or muscular strength or vitality; "a feeble old woman"; "her body looked sapless"
• (used of verbs) having standard (or regular) inflection
• not having authority, political strength, or governing power; "a weak president"
• faint: deficient in magnitude; barely perceptible; lacking clarity or brightness or loudness etc; "a faint outline"; "the wan sun cast faint shadows"; "the faint light of a distant candle"; "weak colors"; "a faint hissing sound"; "a faint aroma"; "a weak pulse"
• likely to fail under stress or pressure; "the weak link in the chain"
• deficient in intelligence or mental power; "a weak mind"

How ironic that weak is pronounced identically to week, that demarcation of seven days. Ironic... or actual? Not that those two are by any means opposites. But, however, perhaps, just maybe, there's a link you've never opened your eyes to. Prepare to get them eyes ripped open. Lids at the ceiling and floors, ladies and gentlemen - it's time for your daily reality check.

Week derives from weak, believe it or not. Weak can be traced back to the vikings, whose war cry of 'we-ak' rang out throughout the British Isles for centuries, striking fear in the heart of everyone. 'Ak' was a term that covered all the bases of raping, pillaging, murdering, philandering and all the other things we enviously associate with the dirty Scandinavian vikings.

'Ak' itself has evolved into an essential part of modern vocabulary. By itself, 'ak' can be used an expression of disgust. Married to the numerals '47', 'ak' becomes indicative of the ferocious birth of the word 'weak'.

What 'weak' meant to the Vikings was seven days of hard Vikinging. Arson, rape and murder were the three end points of the 'ak' triangle. The 'weak' were the defiled - the dead, the raped, the burnt (in reverse order, just to make sure you're still paying attention).

Kolonov Execritus, commander in the Red Army in the years prior to Operation Barbarossa, was the inspiration for the Russians adoption of the term 'AK47' for their later mass produced weaponry.

Kolonov would catch moths at night and keep them in jars. He would then put these moths through a grotesque ordeal that began with the insertion of the flintless end of a matchstick through their mouths, striking said match, and watching said moth burn. Arson, rape and murder, all writ large on the little corpse of one blundering defenseless creature. It was the Viking concept of 'ak' translated to polite Dostoevsky Russian society.

'Ak' would generally last around seven days, which is how the term 'weak' became the modern day 'week'. And the weak were the victims of 'ak'. We-ak. We-ak indeed.