Word 3: Letter

The art of letter writing formed the basis of modern literature. Much of The Bible's New Testament consists of letters and many of Greek philosophy's great works were edited collection of letters philosophers had written to others explaining their theories. The word 'letter' itself didn't enter the English speaking world's lexicon until far later.

The 'letters' in The Bible were never actually called 'letters' until King James I order the production of the English language King James Bible. The phrase related to a very specific type of letter writing common to the early 17th century England in which The King James Bible was created.

Letter. Slow down and listen to it. Sounds a bit like a Cockney saying 'let her' doesn't it? That's because that's exactly what it is.

The punishment for a woman committing adultery leading up to the 17th century in England was to spend a weekend night in the stocks. This inevitably brought the offender hours of sodomy from the drunken locals. Husbands wishing to follow in the footsteps of the 16th century's King Henry 8th and leave their wives without subjecting them to mob buggery would have to write to the local magistrate explaining that they gave their permission for other men to enjoy the fruits of their wife's genitals.

In London, one of these carnal permission slips quickly became known as a 'let her', which eventually contracted into the single word 'letter'.

Samuel Pepys' diary of the Great Fire of London contains a lengthy passage detailing a friend of Pepys and his production of one of these progenerative legal prophylactics. Pepys' friend discovered on the same dreadful Tuesday that he was afflicted with bubonic plague and that was wife was allowing a playboy beefeater access to all of her areas. The chap decided that before he shook off this mortal coil he would allow for the sparing of his wife's tender sphincter, which, not uncommonly for a 16th century English gentleman, he had never himself defiled.

Next time you lick the tip of an envelope, just remember that you've just licked the seal of a non-consensual anal entry avoidance permit.